Promotion?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 was an big day. There are two reasons really.  The first is that May 18th is my mom's birthday!  Happy belated birthday to my mom.  Of course, I sent her a card...and called her on her birthday but this is just a shout out!

The second reason is because Ricky promoted to sixth grade!  When I was a kid we promoted to high school and then graduated from high school.  As our friend at Wal-mart told me when HE was a kid they had one!  You graduated from high school and that was that.  We love our friend at Wal-mart, at the moment his name escapes me.  I'm pretty sure it is Bob but I couldn't say that for sure.  It seems that he's there for all our big days.  This is mainly because I wait until the last minute to take care of things, much to my mother-in-law's dismay! I'm pretty sure this is one thing about me that bugs her.  Well it's probably the only thing about me that bugs her! HA!  You know, I am her FAVORITE daughter-in-law.  I suppose I should mention that I am her only DIL but still.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  This time the lack of planning wasn't EXACTLY my fault.  I have been extremely busy lately.  I didn't receive any written notices or anything of that nature, probably because 5th graders aren't great and bringing these things home.  The notice I received was, "Promotion is tonight at 5:00 or 5:30 Gina."  That was at 1:00pm when they arrived home from school that day.  Yep, I had three hours to get us pulled together for the ceremony.  Unfortunately, Chris was working and not able to get off because his manager had the day off.  Not to mention he was puking all day at work. (That's dedication!)

So I got us pulled together and of course there are no pictures to document my stunning self...cough cough. But there are a few really bad photos of the kids.  I told you before I need major help with my camera and I am very embarrased to post these pictures but this is a big day for us and I have to document it.

Ricky worked so hard and came so far this year.  I'm sure there were many reasons I'm sure like a change in atmosphere, some incredible staff at Vista Grande Elementary School in Rio Rancho, (BIG SHOUT OUT TO THEM...we couldn't have had such a successful year without the caring team over there.) and partially due to starting him on medication for ADD.  The final part to the puzzle, by the way, I believe had the biggest impact on his schooling.  Ricky had a great attitude, for the most part, this year.  I could see how hard he was trying, not only in school but at home as well.  He has so many things he is dealing with and with the help of his counselor at Team Builders (another huge shout out) he is taking control of his emotions, actions and studies.

He is looking forward to going into middle school. I think this might be the first year that he can't wait for summer to be over, even before it begins. 

He has a long way to go but we are so proud of him for the work he's done so far!

What a handsome young man



This is the wonderful Mrs. Johnson,
Ricky's 5th Grade teacher





He fought the tie and tucking the shirt

but afterward he said he's going to wear it to church!



Kids Will Be Kids

Kids will be kids. What exactly does that mean?  Tonight, to me, that means they don't care.  They don't care if they live in a pigsty. They don't care if they have toys.  They don't care if they have nice clothes.  That made me think.  DO they care?  Maybe I just tapped into the truth here which would be fantastic and cheap for me!  Maybe they DON'T really care how nice their surroundings are and that is just something we learn.  These things I've mentioned are all very material.  Maybe the DON'T care and we would be better off taking the cue from them.

I'm not saying that we would all be better of living in a dump.  Living like most of the world in fact.  But I suppose if we got rid of most the extra things we have which is, well, most of what we have.  We would see life for what it really is.  If the girls didn't have dolls, strollers, kitchens, etc they would have to use their imagination.  They could actually enter the world of make-believe.  Remember that world? Everything looked better in the world of make-believe.  The stroller had the fabric that I wanted and the food was exactly what I wanted to serve. I have to admit even the cigarettes where fantastic, they came in different colors (crayola to be exact).  (I've never smoked a real cigarette but I pretended up a storm.) I used pretended that I had braces too.  I'd put pony tail holders in my mouth in front of my teeth.  You know the ones with balls on the ends?  It wasn't so fun when I ACTUALLY got braces but I had a ball pretending.  I remember pretending that our couch was a car.  My mom would let me use a wooden spoon that would serve as the shifter.  I'd stick it between the cushions and anything round would work for the steering wheel.  Heck sometimes I would just IMAGINE the steering wheel!  GASP!  I still can't drive a manual transmission by the way BUT I drove like Mario Andretti when I was a kid. Not one ticket, although I was pulled over a few times.

All the threats in the world don't work to get my girls (mostly) to clean their room.  I'd have a better chance, that's to say it would be easier, to let it go if my youngest, most impressionable little girl wasn't sharing this room with the other two.  I'd say fine be a pig but don't ask me to come in there and give you kisses goodnight.  I wonder, would that do any good?  I think not, they would just accept that as reality and kiss me before they went to bed. Kids are highly adaptable which is unfortunate sometimes.

If you haven't guessed I've had "one of those days" with the kids.  Today I would like to trade them in for a trip to the most beautiful place on earth. Not sure where that is but I know that there aren't any kids living there.  If you are reading this and you are the mother of two or more children you understand where I am today. You also understand that tomorrow is another day and tomorrow the most beautiful place on earth is right here with my three biological children and 2 bonus kids. (Got that bonus thing from friends, thanks Cuellars)  But tonight I'm going to dream of a land that is quiet.  It only has clean houses, bubble baths, thousands of books, fabulous food that is already prepared (and doesn't make you fat I might add) and my husband.  (In my dreams he only knows how to say, "I agree dear." and "You look ravashing!")

Tomorrow (or even in the middle of the night) I will wake up to one of my beautiful children who need my compassion, love, devotion, patience, kindess, gentleness, self-control....wait a minute...this is starting to look vaguely familiar....dang it... I hate it when God does that.  He's up there laughing right now.


(If you don't understand "the joke"...go get your Bible...even the most pagan (lol) of my "family" have at least one Bible...I am almost sure of it...look up Galations 5:22-23. Okay so if you don't you can click the link...GEEZ....LAZY!)

Ainsley is Eight

As I said in my last post, Ainley turned 8 on May 11th.  She's growing up so fast. Tonight she will have several friends over for pizza, cake and ice cream and a sleep over.  Boy I am sure looking forward to that!  

She asked for a puppy for her birthday, from several people in fact.  She asked Papa because, I think, she figured if anyone would get her one it would be him! Ha!  Pretty sure Nana would have killed him....When I told her a puppy wasn't going to happen she asked for a kitten.  That will NEVER happen, mostly because I am allergic to cats (Thank goodness!).  At that point she asked for a fish.  I laugh everytime I think about it.  The thing is she didn't just want a puppy, she wants something that is all hers that she can love...so this year we thought that was appropriate.  So I went in search of a very small turtle but found that they don't stay small. :(  I also found that they are illegal to sell in New Mexico when they are that small (actually the entire US I think).

I was dissappointed but began looking at other options.  I was about to buy her a hampster when Chris nixed the idea.  He says they are too much like rats! lol and I thought I was bad.  I also would have bought a black pappillion/poodle mix that I found in the pet store if Chris hadn't said that he would take it back if I bought one.  I know I am crazy because the last thing I need is another living being to take care of but they are just so dang cute! 

Squirt

Well with the hampster out Chris suggested the Red Eared Water Turtle. So that is what we got.  Not a very smart idea.  It's kind of relaxing to watch but pretty expensive.  The turtle itself was only $20 but it needed a large tank, a basking spot, a basking, light, a UVB light, a water warmer, a filter, and miscellaneous small items to keep the tank clean and feed it.

She named him Squirt and all that really matters is she really loves it.  She wanted to get up in the middle of the night to check on him and she comes straight home from school to see him.  I call it a him but we still haven't figured out how to tell if it is a boy or girl. In fact, I'm not really sure who loves him more...Ainsley...or me.  Chris says I must be sick.

The Rio Grande

Today we went down to the Rio Grande and I took Ainsley's 8 year pictures.  That was a nice time except for the picture taking.  Before we even parked we saw several geese and once we parked we saw all kinds of people on the trail.  There were people running biking.  We actually saw one couple on a bicycle built for two; I always love that!  We saw people walking their dogs and we even saw one gal on a horse.  As for the "photo session", I think I'm going to have to give up for a while until I can devote more time to learning my camera and different techniques.  I'm not real happy with the turn-out.  Part of my problem is that I am in too much of a hurry and not patient enough.  At any rate, here is a sampling.

Reflections

On Wednesday, May 4th Chris and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Wednesday, May 11 is Ainsley's 8th birthday and sandwiched between the two is Mother's day!  I'm tired just typing all of that! May is definitely a month of reflecting for me. 

Those of you who knew me in high school know that I wanted to get married and have a baby right after graduation.  That is basically the way my parents did it and that is what I wanted as well.  There was once small problem.  I didn't even have a boyfriend and God had other plans.  I didn't meet Chris until I was 25 (ooh so old right?)  I sure felt old.  I spent those 7 years pretty sad.  I wanted to have a fairy tale romance. What girl doesn't?  I wanted someone to come and sweep me off of my feet, fall madly in love and then start a family.  I spent so much time longing for that dream that I forgot to enjoy what I DID have.  I forgot to live for that day because, after all, tomorrow may never come.

Then in my 25th year I finally met Chris.  We were married less than a year later and I was pregnant within 4 months of our marriage.  I remember standing in the kitchen talking with my dad on the phone and I had told him we were going to start trying to have a baby.  Dad advised against saying we should wait about a year but we didn't listen.  Again, instead of living happily in the moment I was so looking to what I was lacking.  I regret that immensly to this day.  I wish Chris and I would have had more time to just be together doing and enjoying each other before we had children.  It is for this reason that I live vicariously (half joking) through Carrie Liles' blog Life as a Liles.  She and her highschool sweetheart got married and lived life to the fullest before starting a family.  I always loved to hear what new fun thing they were doing...together. 

At times I still do the same thing.  I long to sit and read ALL DAY or watch TV without interuption or go shopping whenever I want.  I find myself thinking when the kids grow up... No more up-all-nights, no more wiping butts, no more cleaning up after a bunch of slobs (aka kids), no more screaming and yelling (that would be me), no more annoying cartoons (can anyone say Sponge Bob?) and no more fighting about homework, dinner, bedtime and baths.  Sounds glorious but then I realize that means no more sweet baby smell, no more "Mommy will you kiss it?", no more tiny baby clothes in the dryer, no more, "I made it just for you! Do you love it Mom?" no more morning snuggles and kisses goodnight.  When will I learn? 

For everything there is a season...(Ecclesiastes 3:1) The past is behind us.  Today is beautiful.  Tomorrow may never come. I need to be reminded almost daily not to let what you dream about for the future get in the way of living life to the fullest today.  Today is going to be gone as soon as tomorrow and you can never get it back.

I'm going to laugh, skip and love today.

The Difference a Year Makes

As I look out the window it looks as if it might snow today.  In fact, rain and snow mix is in the forecast for tonight.  It is 37 degrees and we are only expecting a high of 47.  It is a good day to write and reflect. 

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the day Ricky & Becka joined our family not as a niece and nephew but a son and daughter.  Chris & I came home from our anniversary trip to a phone call from my brother.  He had reached his limit and told us, in so many words, "this is it".  To make the situation even more fun we had been living with my parents since January and Chris was facing the prospect of moving to Albuquerque to begin a new job.

We've had many hurdles throughout the year and I'm sure the coming year will be just as difficult, if not more difficult as the kids really begin to deal with the emotions they have kept burried for so long.  Ricky & Rebecka both were placed with teachers who have a long history of dealing with children in their situation and has been a blessing.

Uncle Bobby Made the Kids
Marshmallow Shooters

While they have a long way to go I am happy to say we have had some major accomplishments as well.  Ricky went from being a student with a bad attitude about school that always forgot his homework and never paid attention in class to one that not only pays attention but chooses to take notes in class.  His teacher sent me an email last week just to say what a different and good experience they are having in class.  He is actually completing his classwork.  I wish I could take credit for this turn around but about two months ago we were referred to talk to his doctor about ADD.  We really resisted this because we come from the "old school" where kids are rowdy and choose not to complete work. Where ADD and ADHD  is something that was invented up by the drug companies and some lazy mom.  But something had to give.  He was so frustrated.  I could tell he WANTED to do a good job and he would get so down on himself when he couldn't get his act together.  So we felt like we owed it to him to at least check into it.  They put him on a drug called Vyvanse.  Within the first couple days we saw a major change.  Thank God for small favors.

I've gone through the gamut of emotions this year.  I've felt angry, hurt, sad and everything in between. I'm sure we're in for another interesting year.  I know the kids are better off today than they were one year ago.  I know that ultimately they are happier.  They are having all of their physical and most of their emotional needs met.  There is still that one thing lacking.  They need to have a relationship with their dad.  I pray daily for my brother (and ex-sister-in-law for that matter).  That God will soften his heart and bring people into his life that will "speak" God's love to him so that he would truly surrender his life to Christ.  Then maybe he could be the father that they need.  Until then we do our best and try to soften the pain for them.

Some people ask us how we manage and my answer is only by the grace of God.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of the same tendencies that my brother has as a parent. Not surprising, since we were raised by the same parents.  Thankfully, through prayer and humility God has revealed this to me and gives me the strength to make the changes.  He also works on my heart every day to make me a more compassionate person, for the kids and for others.  I sometimes think God gave us the kids not only to help them but to change us, to help us become the people He intended us to be.  I think it's working.

Money Talks

As I walk into the girls room my shoulders sink, my head drops and the frustration sets in.  Again. I calmly say to them, "Girls, get this room cleaned up...or I'll do it for you."  "No! Don't do that!" comes the reply.  I turn, smile and think to myself, "It's working, right on."

We began giving the kids an allowance a few months ago.  Each week they get a dollar for each year of age they are.  I didn't think it was a lot but the responses I get from other parents when I tell them indicates we are quite generous.  (It's too bad the kids don't get that. Ha!)  We provide them with necessities and whatever else they would like to have they have to buy it themselves.

It serves as a great incentive to be responsible and respectful.  I recently read this book called, Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster W. Cline, M.D., and Jim Fay. One of the biggest things I came away with was that children should have real world consequences whenever possible.  For example, when I break the law by speeding I have to pay a fine.  So when the kids break the house rules they must pay me a fine.  When they leave their things lying around or do not clean up their room I will do it for them by taking everything that was out of place.  I put those things in a box and when they want something back they pay me $1 for each item.  If they don't get their items back within a couple weeks they are given to the needy.  I also have to admit that I got the idea to make them pay to get their stuff back from a friend Kathryn McKee.  (I want to be like her when I grow up.) If my children were to turn out as half as good as hers did I would be thrilled.

Money talks folks not just to adults!

The Beginning

Here we are.  We've abandon our native home in Arizona to live in Rio Rancho, New Mexico.  We never really wanted to live in New Mexico but I had a strong desire to begin a new life away from Phoenix (the heat mostly).  We decided we would apply for some positions in Flagstaff and Prescott Valley (away from Phoenix...but still not too far).  THAT is what landed us in New Mexico.  The company that we applied for in Prescott also had shops in other northern Arizona cities, southern Colorado and all over New Mexico.  We tried really hard to go to southern Colorado (ha, who wouldn't) northern Arizona or even northern New Mexico but no, God knew we needed to be just outside of Albuquerque.  Rio Rancho to be exact.  So here we are.

The Tree in Our Front Yard Last Fall

I must say that I've enjoyed the 8 months we've been here.  I was thrilled to experience a small taste of Fall and I believe it to be my favorite time of the year. The winter was actually cold and we even got to experience real snow. Six whole inches! At once! To a native Phoenician that is something to write home about.  I was able to buy a coat and now I own TWO! My wardrobe is growing beyond tank tops and flip flops.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy tank tops and flip flops, just not 10 months out of the year.





Our First Real Snow

 

We haven't seen 90 degrees yet, although our Arizona counterparts have already seen plenty of those.  I also might add that 60 degrees feels a lot cooler here than in Phoenix.  60 is brisk if there is a breeze or even wind.  Oh yes, the Albuquerque Metro area is very windy.  That is one thing I could leave behind.  It doesn't melt the make-up off my face and let's face it, my hair was never really stylish so I don't lose much there so I'll take the wind over the scorching summer (that lasts for 6 months, don't even try to argue with me).

 Although I've found the people here to be incredibly friendly I do miss my friends and family very much.  I never realized how much my "church" family meant to me.  I had a love-hate relationship with "small groups".  If you aren't familiar, a small group is a small group (typically from church) that meets in one person's home to read God's word and discuss how it is applicable to your life.  Sounds "churchy" but it's really not.  I resisted small groups because it was another thing taking time away from other "stuff" I could be doing.  Mostly that stuff was to veg in front of the couch...with 3 kids that doesn't happen much.  But small groups are also to have a small group of people that you get to know better, spend time with and in the end you become...family.  That is exactly what they were to me. Each one meant something different.  Each one spoke to a different part of my life and I miss each one.

So all-in-all I am content and at home in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. However, we don't believe this is the end of this passage.  No.  Actually we believe this is only the beginning for our family and we're very excited (okay and a bit impatient) to see where or what God leads us into next.  I sure hope He doesn't take His time showing us the next step!