The Difference a Year Makes

As I look out the window it looks as if it might snow today.  In fact, rain and snow mix is in the forecast for tonight.  It is 37 degrees and we are only expecting a high of 47.  It is a good day to write and reflect. 

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the day Ricky & Becka joined our family not as a niece and nephew but a son and daughter.  Chris & I came home from our anniversary trip to a phone call from my brother.  He had reached his limit and told us, in so many words, "this is it".  To make the situation even more fun we had been living with my parents since January and Chris was facing the prospect of moving to Albuquerque to begin a new job.

We've had many hurdles throughout the year and I'm sure the coming year will be just as difficult, if not more difficult as the kids really begin to deal with the emotions they have kept burried for so long.  Ricky & Rebecka both were placed with teachers who have a long history of dealing with children in their situation and has been a blessing.

Uncle Bobby Made the Kids
Marshmallow Shooters

While they have a long way to go I am happy to say we have had some major accomplishments as well.  Ricky went from being a student with a bad attitude about school that always forgot his homework and never paid attention in class to one that not only pays attention but chooses to take notes in class.  His teacher sent me an email last week just to say what a different and good experience they are having in class.  He is actually completing his classwork.  I wish I could take credit for this turn around but about two months ago we were referred to talk to his doctor about ADD.  We really resisted this because we come from the "old school" where kids are rowdy and choose not to complete work. Where ADD and ADHD  is something that was invented up by the drug companies and some lazy mom.  But something had to give.  He was so frustrated.  I could tell he WANTED to do a good job and he would get so down on himself when he couldn't get his act together.  So we felt like we owed it to him to at least check into it.  They put him on a drug called Vyvanse.  Within the first couple days we saw a major change.  Thank God for small favors.

I've gone through the gamut of emotions this year.  I've felt angry, hurt, sad and everything in between. I'm sure we're in for another interesting year.  I know the kids are better off today than they were one year ago.  I know that ultimately they are happier.  They are having all of their physical and most of their emotional needs met.  There is still that one thing lacking.  They need to have a relationship with their dad.  I pray daily for my brother (and ex-sister-in-law for that matter).  That God will soften his heart and bring people into his life that will "speak" God's love to him so that he would truly surrender his life to Christ.  Then maybe he could be the father that they need.  Until then we do our best and try to soften the pain for them.

Some people ask us how we manage and my answer is only by the grace of God.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of the same tendencies that my brother has as a parent. Not surprising, since we were raised by the same parents.  Thankfully, through prayer and humility God has revealed this to me and gives me the strength to make the changes.  He also works on my heart every day to make me a more compassionate person, for the kids and for others.  I sometimes think God gave us the kids not only to help them but to change us, to help us become the people He intended us to be.  I think it's working.